Countdown to tee-off: days

TRUMP FURY OVER
PROJECT GOLF SNUB


PUBLIC INQUIRY DELAYS TYCOON'S N-EAST RESORT; COMPLETION BY MAY IMPOSSIBLE

The controversial decision by Aberdeenshire Infrastructure Committee Councillors to reject Donald Trump's £1bn golf resort for the Menie Estate in Balmedie has already had deeper consequences for the area, and the tycoon himself.

Trump wanted the Aberdeen leg of Project Golf to include his proposed course, but this latest snub may prove to be the straw that broke the camel's back, in turn casting the potential investment into the North-east sand dunes further in doubt.

Speaking via video satellite from Trump Tower in New York, and whislt holding his hair in place, he said, "Part of the £1bn investment was to be associated with the prestigious Project Golf brand. I'm very disappointed at the narrow-minded decision. The fact the event will be teeing-off mere miles down the Scattish coast all before a brick has been laid on the hundreds of houses, I mean, clubhouse at the Menie Estate disgusts me."

And what of the environmental issue and the concerns of flattening an area of scientific interest? "I think more birdies are going to be created under my venture!" he quipped.

Team North members confirmed they had secretly met with the magnate, and many offers were rumoured to be on the table, including an appearance on 'The Apprentice' to show up-and-coming entrepreneurs how to organise a golf event.

Surprisingly, the media frenzy that has followed this developing sub-story of the Trump-saga has been minimal. However it can be exclusively revealed that with the mogul's connections, initial video material was filmed and has recently been leaked on the internet, implicating that a number of high-profile sponsors were willing to promote the tournament. It was even reported that Graeme Mutch was flown to the US to star in a multitude of high-budget commercials, while Alan Grant was seen in Marks and Spencers buying asparagus. The videos are linked above.

Team South were, as always, unavailable for comment.

---
Project Golf 2008: Aberdeen tees-off May 8th at an undisclosed location. Team South are the holders of the coveted Sally Gunnell Memorial Trophy having won the inaugural competiton in Edinburgh last year.